we are in the car together embarking on a road trip. we'll travel together, one of us
driving the car while the other wrestles with the map. i'm more of a map guy myself so
i tend to follow your lead, letting you decide which destination is next (what are your
therapy goals?) and what route we'll take to get there (the topics we explore together
and meaning we make). we're sure of where we're headed but, cmon, we've all seen this
scenario play out. there will be wrong turns, flat tires, fallen rocks, detours, split
second spur of the moment pulling over to look at a roadside attraction. sometimes
you're tired, too tired to drive, and while i'm trying to be attentive i might miss some
signs of your fatigue. it will mean a lot to me that you share that feeling of needing
more direction in the session; in fact, it's integral to the work i do that you trust you
can voice concerns To Me, even/especially if they are About Me. i'll do the same for you.
learn more about how i do therapy
short answer: this experience is statistically inevitable.
if this potential for us to be in what's called "dual relationships" is a cause for concern
for you we will make a plan and agree on best practices for unexpected sightings out in
the wild and unavoidable times when our paths cross.
longer answer: i will not engage you if i see you; you are welcome to engage or not.
if we are already interacting, i'll keep being me and you'll keep being you and i won't
disclose our therapeutic relationship; you are welcome to do so if you wish. i'll be following your lead :)
when we have had a sighting, i'd like to make time in a next session to explore what it felt
like to see each other outside of the therapy space. what comes up might be surprising!
one of the first concrete understandings i had about the idea of therapy is that they let anyone
do this job. i hope this doesn't sound too glib! i'm a person, not a platonic ideal, and i believe
recognizing my failures and foibles makes me a better therapist. i'm also not ever going to be perfect,
not always going to agree that something i did was wrong, and i'm unwilling to keep trying to
perform the dance of purity culture/cancel culture/punitive logic. i don't encourage it in my clients
and i don't encourage it in myself.
shit's complicated. no hard feelings if you don't like me!
xxx
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